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i need help

 so i'm right now skipping work right now online looking for ways to say bye and so i need help cus i dont want to, but i know if i keep thinking by myself i will end up saying bye. so i need help.

A letter to CBC

Dear CBC, i can't be a part of your student ministry anymore. This decision was a difficult one to make, but i had to make it. I was portraying somebody that i'm not. The truth is i'm a more like a fake christian then anything else. I don't go to church on a regular basis. I pick up my bible once every couple of weeks. Honestly, I can't even think of one trait that would show anybody that i'm christian instead of just another nice guy. I love ya dearly and pray that ya keep up spreading god word, ya doing a great job.

Post from mobile portal m.livejournal.com

pity party

i'm twenty years old and i'm looking at my life and seeing how bad it really is. i'm still living with my mom, going to a two year school for the third year. probably going to be there for a 4th, make fun of my best friend over stuff that actually happened because he didn't wanta hurt me, oh yeah i'm a "christian" that swears, don't read the bible or go to church, and to top it all of i'm constantly thinking about having sex with every girl i see while "loving" my girlfriend that i can't talk about as my girlfriend. and oh yeah i'm pouting over livejournal about it like a two year old which is how old i act around people. FML

Post from mobile portal m.livejournal.com
so i feel that i should post so tada *bust out the magic hat* well lets see i went to a concert last week of my favorite guitarist Justin Nuzuka and if you don't know who he is then you need to youtube him. pretty much he's amazing. and the concert was amazing. The only con was that i had to stand up for the whole 4 HOURS to watch the show. nonetheless, it was still groovy and now i like missy higgins and if you don't know her, do the same previously stated youtubing to her:-)

i wonder how she's doing...

I really want to talk to Wendy and see how her life has been. i mean, she is the "reason" why i started to write deeper and emotional songs in the first place. that could be the epic ending of my 40 days dum dum dum. idk just randomly had a dream about her tis all. I hope that she still is writing poems...

The web show is turning out to be a great hit, thank you all for watching them and i will try to keep thinking of things to say, promise. ;-) ok back to bed

so like yeah

this is a true christmas story right here. so basically last night i heard my sister walking up stairs and i went up and seen my sister laying with mom so i was thought it would be sweet to have all of us in there. so as soon as i lay next to my sister and the perfect picture moment is underway my sis throws up.

MErry christmas

Oh yeah P.S. Some friends and I are working on the best post christmas gift ever dum dum dum haha

a song that will never be...

Gears moves

Oil spills

creating the trash that you now hear

Robotic

Hypnotics

Take you mind to obsolete

How can you cover?

Failure with shit

And expect roses to rise

Chained up

Helpless

To make machine music

 

Hear the cold steel

Striking the blade

Forging my name

On this machine music

And it keeps going

And going

And going

And going

 

Ch-chang

Bling bling

Big coins breaking hearts

Topless

Pants less

The Shame to our shame

Making a stand

By sitting down

In a dark rundown hall

Chained up

Helpless

To make machine music

 

Hear the cold steel

Striking the blade

Forging my name

On this machine music

And it keeps going

And going

And going

And going

 

Fun

Ha

The dragon mouth speak

Feist on

Goodness

Aim for worthless

Hidden agenda

Unknown takeover

Of all our pleasure

Chained up

Helpless

To make machine music

 

Hear the cold steel

Striking the blade

Forging my name

On this machine music

And it keeps going

And going

And going

And going

 


Nov. 2nd, 2008

I am asha, and im a very smart guy

I am asha, and I can act stupid sometimes

I am asha, and I love to roam

I am asha, and I love being alone

I am asha, and I love love

I am asha, and I love lust

My name is asha, my peace in within

My name is asha, but my spirits with…


I hate sex. and i don't mean like i had a bad experience with it. quite the opposite if fact. But even after that i hate sex. It's not no body fault...scratch that yes it is. it's my father. No not even him. its the world and how they can have one day without wanting to see some one wear/not wear something just so they can live a unreachable fantasy about them self. I'm quite sick of it and how much it's affect are everyday lives. Don't they realize whats happening. Sex is turning from something that is suppose to connect 2 people that love each other deeply, to a meaningless, lifeless, pathetic act that is done from either being some horny little freak or sheer boredom. well i refuse to be involved with it. I wash my hand of the idea.

I love sex, beginning to end. See, sex to me is more then just the actual action. it's everything before that leads up to it. From small gestures across the room when you first lay eyes on each other. The look on their face when ya touch for the first time. feeling there soft skin against you when you hold them. The rush in you heart at the moment you lips touches theirs. every word they speak, every word you speak, building tension that is unbearable to control. Next thing you know a passionate rage rushes your body making everything around you is blurry. and the only thing you can make is fast movement and loud sounds flowing to your ear and causes you to have faster movement and louder sound until you reach a peak of ecstasy. sex makes me love life a little bit more.

one step closer

I got the demo of all of my new music done. i'm hopping that i will put it on my myspace to see which songs i should put words to or not. myspace.com/fusionof7 check it out when you have the time.

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